Make This Part Go Faster
by Miss Feline
Summary: Maureen, know that when I walk out this door, you'll never have a chance at my deliciously pale white ass again. preRENT.


**Make This Part Go Faster**

The photographer glanced at her out of the corner of his eye, attempting to hide his worry. Maureen had invited him to eat out at the Life Café...alone. They'd always gone with their friends, even though they'd been dating for about a year. That's just how it was. Today, she was dressed all in black, and he wondered what she had to mourn about. Heavy eyeliner adorned her eyelids, and she looked like she pitied him, but he couldn't figure out why. Mark sat across from her, sipping some water.

"Baby, Pookie," Maureen started, not daring to look him in the eyes. "I need to talk to you about something."

Mark flinched; he didn't like the sound of that. "I...listen, if it's about this morning when I left the toilet seat up, I swear, I won't..."

"It's not that," Maureen interrupted, shaking her head. "Listen, Mark, you've been great."

He grimaced again.

"But," Maureen said, and Mark felt his heart speed up. This couldn't be _happening_; not now, not ever. She couldn't break up with him. Panic filled his body, and he felt like he was about to be hit by a car but couldn't move. "I...Mark, I met someone."

"What do you mean, you met someone?" Mark asked before he could stop himself.

Maureen sighed. "I met someone that I really connect with. That I feel an attraction towards."

"Why...why are you..." Mark choked, pounding his fists on the table. "I thought everything was okay between us. I mean, sure, it hasn't been _perfect_, but..."

"You treat that...that _camera_ like _it's_ your girlfriend!" Maureen points at his camera as if it's a monster.

"Don't bring Cammie into this," Mark's face reddened. "Who is he?"

When Maureen stayed silent, he took a deep breath and said: "Maureen, I think I deserve to at least _know_ who I'm being fucking dumped for."

"It's not..." Maureen started, looking embarrassed for Mark. "It's not a...he."

"Huh?" Mark raised his eyebrows; then realization hit him like a freight train. "Wait, it's a _woman_? You're leaving me for a God damn _woman_?!"

"It's not like it's illegal, or anything!" Maureen yelled. "Why are you God damn surprised?!"

"Because it's a _woman_!" Mark shouted. "You can't just...I...who is _she_?"

Maureen looked sheepish. "Joanne."

"Joanne?" Mark repeated in disbelief. "As in, your _lawyer_ Joanne?"

Maureen nodded, and Mark's head hit the table. "How did this happen?"

"Well," Maureen started. "One night, when we were going over my latest public indecency case, I brought over a bottle of Stoli. We got kind of drunk and then we..."

"NO!" Mark covered his ears. "I didn't mean it like _that_! Jesus!"

"Well, you asked!" Maureen pointed at him. "Why are you getting so upset?"

"You cheated on me with another woman! And now you're _leaving_ me for her?!" Mark shook his head. Suddenly, a disturbing thought appeared in his mind. "Was it...was it the sex?"

"What?"

"I mean," Mark lowered his voice, leaning towards Maureen. "Was I, you know, bad?"

"No," Maureen said quickly. A little too quickly. "I mean, okay, _sometimes_..."

"Oh my God," Mark groaned, resting his head in his hands. "Oh my _God_."

"But, you know," Maureen started, trying to make him feel better. Even though she didn't want to be with him anymore, that didn't mean that she still didn't love him. "You were a virgin when I met you, so I guess I couldn't expect it _all_ to be good."

"Maureen!" Mark hissed. "You are _not_ helping."

"Sorry!" she insisted, looking down at the table. "Listen, I never meant to hurt you, Marky. You know that."

"It's Mark," he spat, his face visibly paling. "Not Marky. Not anymore."

"Mark," Maureen started, but Mark shook his head.

"What do you expect me to feel, Maureen?" He looked like he was going to cry. "Happy for you and _Joanne_?"

"No," Maureen slumped over in her seat. "I guess not."

Mark stood up, grabbing his jacket from the table. "I'm leaving. But Maureen, know that when I walk out this door, you'll never have a chance at my deliciously pale white ass again."

* * *

I'm actually kind of proud of this one! And yet again, my beta forced me to put this up. Peer pressure; what are you gonna do? ;P


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